So Grateful For

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I have been feeling so fortunate this week and genuinely excited about so many things that it seems the perfect time to write out a little love list to the galaxy. What about you? Even if it's been a rough week, especially if it's been a rough week, take a minute to voice out a few things that you're grateful for... be it by writing a list in a journal, telling a friend about what's got you grinning, or speaking it aloud on your drive to work. It might seem like a silly activity, but focusing some positive energy on the things that we're content with is a simple way to raise our spirits, lessen our stresses, and remind us that there are good things going on in this wacky world. Here's what's got me buzzing this week...

Discovering the wonder of the food processor (it turns cauliflower into fluffy pillowy heaven!), and making this yummy, healthy, and satisfying raw version of veggie fried rice.

Moving forward with projects at work.

Finding a face wash I can identify every single ingredient in. It's remarkably soft and luscious, and it smells so good I want to eat it (and so natural I could).

45 degree weather melting away the snow from Tuesday.

Venturing to a new yoga studio... that has two free 90 minute classes a week and a $5 community class on Sundays! Anybody who's paid $15 drop-in rate for a 60 minute class knows what a rarity this is.

Planning weekend getaways.

Being inspired by the Olympics, and not just that saddened that I missed my calling as a professional curling player (curler?). I've got men's figure skating on in the backgrounds as I type..

Firing up my trusty Excalibur for some tasty treat making this week.

Guiltlessly slowing down, and spending more time doing the things I really want.

So Grateful For

Photo via Zedo Max

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope you enjoyed a special day with friends and family, however you choose to celebrate the start of the holiday season. We enjoyed a fantastic dinner followed by a never-ending game of darts and plenty of laughter. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to remember all of the things we're fortunate to have and grateful for in our lives. This year I'm especially thankful for:

• My wonderful (and growing!) family
• Squash, in every form
  
• Friends, old and new
• Flannel pjs
  
• Employment
  
• Massive bowls of popcorn
• Hairy siblings
• Fresh starts
• Nights the pool is warm
• Raw food potlucks
• Muscles sore from use
• Simplifying
• Curb Your Enthusiasm
• Foggy fall mornings
• Our fellow creature-kind
  
• Someone special to share it all with

What are you thankful for this year?

More or Less

Sometimes more just feels right. We yearn for more hours in a day. We want more time with the ones we love. We need more money in our pockets. We crave more sweetness on our tongues. We desire more shoes to fill our closets. We ache for more sleep in the morning. Sometimes it feels as if life would be so much better if there was simply "more".

But there's a counterpart to more that we often forget about when we proclaim that more will solve our conundrums, and that counterpart is less.

It may seem counter intuitive that less can fill the same needs as more. After all, any kindergartner well versed in opposites can tell you that more is to up as less is to down. But sometimes less provides us with the real solution when more is still but a dream.

We won't gain more hours in a day any time soon, but less commitments can provide us with the hours we yearn for. Less time spent planning for picture perfect memories (for example an ideal vacation), or working to save up for said memory producing events, can give us the time to recognize and appreciate the simple moments we have with those we love. Less money in our pockets may not be ideal, but it enables us to internalize that money and the various things we buy does not define who we are. Less sweetness, just like less saltiness or spiciness or tartness, will refine our palates and develop a finer and wider sense of culinary delights. Less clothing in our closets can remove the stress of deciding what to wear each day and help us to see that is it not just how we adorn ourselves that makes us beautiful. Less sleep... well okay less sleep is really no fun no matter which way you dice it.

There are times for more and times for less in all of our lives. Sometimes we turn to more because we need to feel filled from the moment we awake to the moment we drift to sleep. Lately I've been feeling the need for less, and it's filling me up in a way more rarely does.

Nap Time

Photo via ChattahBox

Are you a napper? It seems like when it comes to naps, most people are either devotees or avoidees. Some, like my mother (and the many cultures who enjoy a siesta), embrace the refreshing benefits of an afternoon doze on the sofa. Others, like myself, scoff at the thought of sleeping during the day just to wake up foggy-headed and pillow-marked. But lately I have started to think an afternoon nap may not be so bad. After all, many studies have shown naps to increase energy, productivity, and creativity as well as stave off late evening drowsiness and decrease stress levels.

A well-placed power nap (about 20 minutes or less in length, ideally taken about 8 hours after rising) won't disrupt your usual sleep pattern, but it can provide you with more benefits than sleeping an additional 20 minutes in the morning (snooze-button hogs take note). Short naps are best for most people because they provide the biological benefits of sleep without letting our bodies get into the deep phases of sleep that are harder to awake from and cause grogginess. The upcoming weekend is a great time to give power napping a try. Go ahead and find a quiet, comfortable place where you can recline fully and make sure you set an alarm to prevent you from napping for more than 20 minutes. You may even want to block out a little additional time for your nap to allow yourself to fully relax by listening to music, reading, or practicing some deep breathing - as all of these activities are helpful for winding down before your snooze or waking up afterward.

The Year of Pleasures

I just finished The Year of Pleasures, a novel by Elizabeth Berg, and true to the title, the book was a pleasure in itself. Berg has a beautiful, descriptive way of writing that brings her scenes to life and paints a rich picture of her characters. The storyline is very much for the female crowd, as the main character Betta deals with the loss of her husband by moving to small town in Illinois and learning how to live without him. There are moments of empowerment and helplessness along the way, but never without the simple joys that make life worth the struggle. It’s the perfect read for a wintry day by the fireplace; recommended for your grandmother and grown daughter alike.

Berg’s descriptions had me picturing every little detail in the book so vividly I was ready to run off and move to the Midwest myself. Here are a few pleasures I’ve been dreaming about since flipping the back cover…

Photo via GPB

Betta is always cooking or baking something for someone, relishing in her nurturing instinct. Even though I’m not one for baking myself, she seemed to find such joy in the process I entertained the thought.

Photo via Lennoxx

Betta has her bedroom painted pale blue to make the space more relaxing, and I love the idea of a matching the shade with a sunny yellow and bright white.

Photo via Houzz

There are several mentions of antique birdcages in the book, and what could be a more fun and beautiful decoration? My gram has had a large birdcage on her mantel for years, filled with little figurines and treasures. I like the idea of hanging a couple from the ceiling, wound with white twinkle lights like lanterns.

Photo via Hugo Naturals

Even bathing takes on an air of luxury in Berg’s novel. Betta would make a production of it, putting on an old album and taking a slow bath, lingering in the warm water. It made me want to do the same, so I promptly picked up a sliver of Hugo Naturals handmade soap and got to it! I have to put in a word for this delightfully scented, all-natural brand that left me skin soft and lush, no moisturizer needed.

Priorities, Part 3

Photo via Chris Bell Online

Over the past few days I've written about why prioritizing is an important tool in today's information age and how to take stock of where your personal resources are going. Today I am going to provide some guidance on aligning your priorities with your personal resource allocation. If you are not clear on what I mean by personal resources, check out Priorities, Parts 1 & 2.

Now that you've taken a clear look at where your time, energy, and funds are going and made note of what your priorities seem to be, it's time to sort out what you want your priorities to be and take action.

Carve out a good half hour to sit down and make a list of your priorities, what you want your priorities to be. What is important enough to warrant your precious time, your limited energy, and your hard-earned dollars? Don't censor yourself - jot down everything that comes to mind.

If you're having trouble getting started, imagine yourself the way you've always wanted to be. What do you see? Who do you spend your time with? How are your days spent? Where do you go? What does your living space, wardrobe, and community look like? I find this exercise really helpful for getting my creative juices flowing.

Once you've got a solid list of priorities, read through it a few times and see what really jumps out. Go ahead and start circling, starring, and crossing out as you wish. When you whittle it down a bit, it's time to take a second look at the personal resource log you made. How can you reallocate your resources to make the priorities you chose to focus on a reality? What activities are sucking up your time and energy now and preventing you from living the life you have imagined? Be bold, and if possible, cut them out of your life entirely. Now you can put your newly found resources to much better use - Towards the priorities you've deemed truly worthy of your time, energy, and funds. Towards the priorities that comprise your ideal life.

You might not have the time, energy, or funds to do everything you want, all the time. But by being honest about where your personal resources are going and prioritizing your desires for the future, you can be sure to make the most of your personal resources, and take a big step towards the life you've imagined.

Priorities, Part 2

Photo via Mental Health

Yesterday I wrote about priorities and why prioritizing is such an important tool in today's world of endless opportunities. So how can you make prioritizing work for you? And where do you begin?

For starters, taking time to set our priorities can help us take stock of where our time, energy, and funds - I refer to these as our personal resources - are going, and recognize where they could be better utilized. When we take the time to consciously prioritize our desires and commitments, we are giving ourselves the power to redirect where our life is headed. That's powerful stuff!

An easy way to take stock of what your current priorities are is to make a personal resources log. You can do this by creating a journal, chart, or spreadsheet where you log everything you do over the course of a week. Your log doesn't need to be too detailed, but it should include each activity, how much time you spent on it, whether it was energizing or energy zapping (this will vary for each of us), and the cash result (either inflow or outflow). Here's a couple examples:

Watched TV, 1.5 hours, energy zapping, $0 (you could prorate your cable bill here if you wanted)
Worked, 9 hours, energy zapping, $500 inflow
Dinner with a friend, 1 hour, energizing, ($40)
Played soccer, 2 hours, energizing, ($10) on a new team shirt
Showered, .5 hours, energizing, $0

Photo via Ask Miss A

The purpose of this log is to give you a snapshot of what your personal resource allocation looks like right now. Feel free to alter these categories or add more categories as you wish - maybe noting how you felt after each activity or who else was involved.

Once you have a week's worth of information in your log, it's time to tally up where your time, energy, and funds went. Take a look at which activities took up the most time. Recognize where the most money was spent, and earned. Note which activities zapped your energy and which revved you up. Finally, after looking at only your personal resource allocation, what do your priorities appear to be? Try to answer this question as analytically as you can, without letting your personal bias answer for you. You might realize that watching television or working overtime has become more of a priority than you'd like to admit, and that's important to be honest with ourselves about. Or perhaps you realize that where your personal resources are going is just where you want them, and that's important to see as well.

So what do you do now that you have an accurate picture of your personal resource allocation (and what your actions are telling you about your priorities)? It's time to reassess if your actions match you desires. Stop by next time to find out how.

Soul Food

Photo via Vegetarian Women

What are you doing to nourish your spirit this week? What steps have you taken to honor yourself? What have you been feeding your divine energy?

Ok, you do not have to book a 76 day spiritual retreat to an Indian ashram in order to connect with your inner essence and experience a sense of contentment (although Tina of Think Simple Now did and it sounds amazing - check out her reflections here). But even making little contributions to your spirit's piggy bank can yield major returns when it comes to your world view and the way you interact with those around you.

So what kind of soul food are we talking about here? I think of soul food as anything that brings new energy and life to all that is best within us. Maybe it's an activity that gives you renewed sense of purpose and joy. Maybe it's a mantra you use to help you tackle tough challenges. Maybe it's a person that encourages you to follow your own path in life. Whatever your soul food - it's important to make time to enjoy it... and there's no time like the present!

Photo via Self Hypnosis

Still not sure what your own soul food is? Give a few of these suggestions a try and see what resonates with you. Once you find the kind of soul food that makes your heart swell with fulfillment and helps put your mind at peace, make a point to consume it regularly.

• Close your eyes and listen to music that carries you to a whole nother level
  
• Write in a gratitude journal, or simply list out things you're grateful for
• Take a yoga, or tai chi class
• Cook a nutritious meal for someone you love
  
• Try meditation, either by taking a class or using one of these methods
• Call an old friend you've been meaning to catch up with
• Invest in a long, restful night of sleep - your body will thank you
• Read a book that stirs something inside you
  
• Open up to your significant other about your dreams
• Volunteer doing something you love
  
• Eat a piece of the finest chocolate you can find
• Connect with your pets - or borrow a friend's if you need to!
• Paint, draw, write, or sing out how you feel
• Get a massage

So Grateful For

Photo from The Eclectic Garden

Since it's Thursday (the day Gala over at iCiNG posts Things I Love Thursday) and I'm bursting with good vibes it seems only appropriate to share a few things I'm so grateful for. And when I say bursting, I mean the kind of gratitude that you feel pounding in your chest that makes you want to hug people you'd typically rather slap and jump into a lake to feel completely enveloped by the world. At one point today, without any intention of doing so, I heard a song on Pandora that caused a major dance session in my apartment; air guitar was involved and I will not apologize to any bystanders who may have caught sight of this horribly embarrassing scene through my open windows. 

• Surprise Mail - Nothing beats finding real mail hiding beneath a pile of grocery store fliers and Comcast ads. I think I smiled for an hour straight after reading my surprise delivery.  Thank you, Gram :)

• Random Coffee Dates - I met with a prospective student IMBA program this week and had no expectations, but it turned out we had a ton in common. I love meeting people who totally amaze you and remind you who you are. Seeing pieces of yourself in someone else is such a little lightening bolt of enlightenment. 

• Midterms - Grateful for the tests themselves? Hardly. Grateful that they signify a mere 5 weeks of classes to go? That I am. 

• Acceptance - Even when they don't last, moments of acceptance - of everything that isn't just right or the way I thought - are so liberating. I know things are going to be just the way they need to be when they need to be.

• Weekend Adventures - I am so ready for a good dose of unfamiliar territory and a few uninterrupted hours of airplane introspection, and both will be involved when I head out of town tomorrow. I am so grateful for my boyfriend. He's perfect. Photos and more to come!

Was that an especially heavy list? I am in a major period of transition right now - forget a new chapter, I'm ready to start a whole new book. It's bringing on some definite highs and lows, and lots of anticipation. What are you grateful for today? What's making you burst with bravado and has you air guitaring on the floor? 

The First Boxes

Image via MamaLaw

I had the best intentions of getting homework done today. I made a list, I organized the list, I itemized the list, I even went so far as to number the list - but as for the execution of the list... no dice. I blame my own lack of follow through on the fact that it is a Saturday in June.

So instead, I spent the afternoon cleaning. I like to think of cleaning as more than a routine chore, and more like therapy. After all, you are forced to see your current situation as it truly is, deal with the realities and consequences of the situation as such, and when the time comes - move on. For me, cleaning today was not merely about sweeping the crumbs of snacks past off the kitchen floor or wiping down the neglected bathroom sink - it was about taking stock of my earthly possessions in terms of U-Haul square footage and likelihood of repeat use. 

In seven weeks I will be on the road, relocating from Denver back to the East Coast to begin life after school. I am so excited to make the move, and especially for the opportunity to go through my many "things" and discover what is working for me and what is not. My growing library of books? Heavy and voluminous, but definitely working. My collection of old sweat clothes for "wearing around the house"? That's a resolute "not working" (and who am I kidding about not wearing them in public). 

Image via The Chef in Stead

It's possible I am just caught up in spring cleaning fever again, but I think every transitional experience is enhanced by a little bit of change. For example, a few simple wardrobe alterations can give you the extra boost of confidence you need when taking on new responsibilities at work. A quick rearrangement of your bedroom in accordance with Feng Shui practices may help balance your energies and yield a refreshed view the next time you need a pick-me-up. Donating a no-good ex's leftover jacket, CD's, and other unwelcome reminders to the Goodwill are a great way to speed up the rebound process too. If you're in a process of transition - or if you want to be - what small change can you make today to enhance your experience? 

As for me, I sought to mentally prepare for the physical and emotional changes ahead and initiated that process by packing my first few moving boxes. And as for my homework, well that's what Sundays in June are for anyways. 

No More Dinner with Frasier Crane

TV photo from Canoe.ca

It’s oddly quiet in my apartment this afternoon; nothing to hear but the tapping of keys and the low hum of cars punctuated by the occasional truck hitting a pothole drifting through my open bedroom window. The quiet, relaxing as it may seem, is not voluntary. I arrived home last night after a long stint of classes to learn that my TV, despite the cable connection in the wall, was not receiving a single channel.

I do not mean to come off as whiny. The truth is, despite never having paid for cable since I moved into my apartment in September I received the gamut of TV entertainment, from ABC and NBC to Bravo and TLC.  Nevertheless, I am perturbed that after ten months of mind numbing boob tubing (…or however you would spell the verb version of tube) I am suddenly cut off, cold turkey, with only eight more weeks until I move out.

I know I know, we should all watch less television anyhow. But in my initial moments of panic I couldn’t help my own self-pity. “I deserve to watch TV! How will I entertain my fried brain at the end of the day?” and so I went rationalizing why I deserved to let my mind (among other things…) turn to mush from my comfortable sofa – not that I wouldn’t continue to criticize others for their lazy habits.

Somewhere within this flood of thoughts I began to recognize how hypocritical I was being. I was no different from someone else spending hours upon hours in front of the television. And, just how many hours was I spending in front of the television anyhow?

Well… 1 hour during lunch generally, that’s a minimum of 7 hours per week, plus two hours of comedy shows on Thursday nights that’s 9, plus I usually watched another show or two after that while doing homework so we’re up to 11, then I’d usually tune in to an hour or two right after class when I prepared and ate dinner, roughly 9 hours a week, so that’s around 20 hours, and then of course several hours of What Not to Wear and The Real Housewives on the weekend so we're up to about 26 hours and… Wow. That’s an entire day. That’s MORE than an entire day. And I wasn’t even finished! That’s… embarrassing.

Now I have to defend myself a little bit here. I do have an apartment to myself so I usually listen to the TV while I am doing general tasks like cooking or cleaning. Also, since my wonderful boyfriend lives about a light-year away on the East Coast I probably have more TV-available time than your average attached gal or single lady on the prowl. Even so, I will not try to deny that there has got to be a better way to spend that time.

Photo found here

And so it begins. It’s not that I have not been perfectly happy without television access in the past – a semester in Greece and a summer in Colorado Springs were both TV free and incredible times in my life. I spent more hours outside, more hours reading, and more hours exploring during those periods than ever before. Perhaps losing my cable, as much of a shock as it was, is just what I need right now. 

Thoughts on Happiness

Today I was thinking about a conversation I had with my boyfriend a few months ago.  It all started with the question, “are you happy?”  As simple a question as it may seem, it is quite a loaded one.  “What do you mean?” I replied.  “Am I happy right at this very moment?  Am I generally happy?  Am I a happy person?” my retorts abounded.  But no matter how many clarifying questions we ask our answer is likely to remain the same.  If you are happy, you know it and you are ready to tell the world (and clap your hands) no matter how the question comes up.  If you’re not happy, you probably know it too, and it’s time for some change!

We are likely to agree that happiness is internal – that is to say happiness does not miraculously fill your soul when you acquire some shiny material possessions or lose that last five pounds.  Yes, buying a new toy or trimming our waistlines can certainly bring us short-term excitement, but true happiness is much more complicated than that.

Finding your happy

Because happiness is such a complex emotional state, I believe that each of us experiences happiness in a different way.  That is, my happy might be very different from your happy.  No matter our own unique definition, we each have a right to experience happiness each and every day. 

But how?  If being happy were easy there wouldn’t be so many of us roaming through life like zombies trying each fad diet, motivational tool, and super fudge brownie ice cream that comes our way in an attempt to ease our discontent. 

In my own quest for happiness I have made a recent discovery, and it aligns with an article entitled “On the folly of rewarding A while hoping for B”.  In the article, Steven Kerr proposes that the problem with many organizational systems is that we reward behaviors that are actually counterproductive to the results we seek.  In applying this concept to my own life, I realize that oftentimes I take actions I think will make me happy when, in reality, they make me miserable.  While I may be the only one who has experienced this phenomenon, I am sure there are others who are operating under the same circumstances.

A couple examples:  As a teenager I had issues with my body and fell into a cycle of looking into the mirror and critiquing everything I saw.  My hips were too wide, my nose too big, my butt too flabby… To combat what I saw I did everything from crash dieting to lose weight to spending countless hours at the gym to layering on makeup.  As I’ve aged I held onto the notion that I will be happy when I finally look in the mirror and am pleased with the image I see.

I also operate under the assumption that I will be happy when I achieve financial security.  As a college student my income is minimal and my expenses high, but I have continued to add to my savings $20 at a time.  However, putting away that money has meant missing out on one-time experiences with friends and waiting out many dull nights at home because sushi with the girls would have broken my budget for the week.

These two examples illustrate my own folly – thinking I will find happiness by doing things (changing my body and saving too stringently) that have never brought me happiness before.  While there is a time and place for each of the above practices in a healthy way (exercising and eating right and saving for goals by realigning your priorities), I had taken my actions to the extreme – and it got me anywhere but happy.

There are many other ways for this folly to manifest itself.  Perhaps you went to school for a degree that you expected to bring you security or practicality, but in reality you wound up in an unsatisfying job that the paycheck didn’t make up for. Maybe you sought to quell your inner uncertainties by joining a religious group based solely on promises of salvation without a vested interest or real commitment to the principles of the sect. You could be on a continuous quest for the final fix that will solve your problems - obsessively reading The Secret, going on a cupcake and lettuce diet, taking up therapeutic underwater basket weaving - but never achieve satisfaction and instead move on to the next "big thing".

What do you think? Have you encountered this conundrum? Do you find that the things you expect to bring you true happiness fall short? Tomorrow I'll explore one way to rediscover and attain happiness in our own unique way.