Unexpected Chocolates

Image by Crystal Munoz found here. 

No other treat hits the spot for depth of flavor and luxurious texture the way dark chocolate does. My favorite varieties combine unexpected ingredients to create an interesting mix of flavors. Enter Dagoba Chocolates.  If you enjoy dark chocolate, or milk chocolate for that matter, you've got to give them a try.  I picked up a lemon ginger bar the other day and its tangy tones were the perfect match for the 68% cacao content dark blend. Dagoba's lavender bar is also one of the best I have tried with hints of fresh, sweet herbal essence.  What are the ingredients to your perfect chocolate bar? Mine might include lime and macadamia nuts. 

Image by Crystal Munoz found here.

After a Long Day

Flowers by Andy Warhol found here

"I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning." Andy Warhol

I am quite certain that Andy was not referencing my graduate marketing case paper when he first uttered these words.  Nevertheless, after 5 hours of writing, rewriting, formatting, and editing, it too began to lose all meaning.  I like to think of Andy and other eccentric artists and thinkers after I have had a long and stressful day of schoolwork and ponder what they would have to say about it.   Well, since Andy was one of the best marketers of all time, known mostly for his pop-art prints of Cambell's Soup cans, I'd like to think he would tell me to quit worrying about a silly marketing paper and get back to him when I had something of consequence to discuss.  

Self-Stereotyping

We all know the harm that stereotyping others can do, but there is another form of type casting that is just as wide-spread and it affects each of us every single day: self-stereotyping. Now this is my own personal term for the practice, but whatever you choose to call it I bet you will recognize these symptoms:

"Oh I couldn't wear a dress like that it's too colorful for me"

"I'm too stupid to get into that college program, I'm not going to even apply"

"I can't believe I ate another piece of cake, there's no point in going to the gym I'm too fat"

"I never have fun going out with my friends unless I've been drinking"

These are just a few examples of self-stereotypes I have heard among my friends.  What makes these statements different from plain old negative self-talk?  The key is that when someone self-stereotypes enough, they begin to believe it.  Let me give you an example from my own life.  

As a graduate student I spend a great deal of time studying, writing papers, reading, and sitting in class. I am constantly surrounded by over-stressed students and we tend to commiserate with one another about our busy schedules, piece-of-work professors, and levels of fatigue. In fact, we are not just commiserating; we are competing to see who is the busiest, who has the worst professor, and who is operating on the least amount of sleep.  After enough of these complaint sessions, I have started to believe that I am the busiest, most stressed-out student to walk the earth.

So what happens when we self-stereotype?  We prevent ourselves from experiencing change and growth.  When we self-stereotype we are limiting our openness to trying new things and our stereotype becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy by affecting our decisions: That means my "stupid" friend will never give himself the chance at an education, and my "fat" friend will never be willing to see herself as beautiful and fit.  As for myself?  I hope to break this cycle before I turn into a sleep-deprived stress-ball subsisting off of Top-Ramen and Diet Coke.  

How do we break the cycle of self-stereotyping?  More importantly, how do we stop self-stereotyping without losing our sense of who we are?  For many people, their own personal stereotype can be comforting; being the "funny one" or the "ladies man" helps us to understand our place in a group.  I have a few suggestions that may help all of us to quit self-stereotyping and start opening up to change without losing our sense of identity.

1. Identify your stereotype

The first step to freeing yourself from self-stereotyping is to acknowledge that your stereotype exists.  It may be helpful to make a list of the stereotypes you have given yourself.  My list may read something like this: stressed student, always busy/never has enough time, always gets the hardest professors, buried in work.  

2. Identify ways you encourage your stereotype

Next, it is important to recognize the decisions you make or the actions you take which play into the stereotype you have identified.  You might want to break down each item from your first list and think about ways you have lived up to that stereotype in the past.  Let's use my example again:

Stressed student - I get worked up over each assignment for class, I frequently hurry from one class to the next instead of enjoying the walk and talking time to relax

Always busy - I pack my calendar too full, I turn down offers to fun events because I don't think I have enough time

Always gets the hardest professors - I complain about how difficult they are and how they don't understand students

3. Identify alternatives

Now that we have outlined the ways we self-stereotype and live-up to those stereotypes, let's think about ways to start breaking down these mental constructs.  I think the most effective way to do this is to brainstorm simple actions to take that go against the stereotype you are trying to banish.  Let's return to my example one more time for some ideas:

Stressed student - If I were not stressed, I would walk comfortably to class, enjoying the fresh air and noticing the sun on my face.  I would smile at the people I pass and ask how others are doing.

Always busy - If I were not always busy, I would take time to do yoga each day and I would accept the invitations my friends gave me.  I would not overbook myself with work.

Always get the hardest professors - If I weren't complaining about how difficult my professors are, I could use that energy to visit their office hours and get to know them better.  

Notice that each alternative I chose is proactive.  If I took these actions instead of the actions I identified in step 2 I would no longer be playing into the stereotype of "stressed student", but rather "successful, balanced student".  So go ahead and make a list of simple actions you can take today that go against a stereotype you feel is holding you back.  It can be something simple or something grand - whatever you are ready for.  Perhaps you can relate to my friend that doesn't think she can pull off a bright red dress because she has always been a wallflower. Take a small step: try wearing red nail polish for a day and see how it makes you feel.  You might find that you like having a bit more color in your life after all!

As for myself, I chose to take the evening off from homework to do some yoga and write an email to a friend instead.  I still have plenty of time to finish my work during the week, and having some time to relax now will help me to better handle stress later.  

Feeling French

The title of this post may not be entirely accurate, seeing as I have never been to France - nor have I so much as known a French person for that matter.  I am, however, in the midst of Sarah Turnbull's book Almost French; a delightful read about her own adventures in the city of love. The book has me wishing I were strolling the halls of the Louvre, stopping at a sidewalk cafe for refreshment, listening to the beautiful French language, and, of course, gushing over Parisian fashion.  Since I'm adoring everything French today, I thought I would indulge my interest by sharing a few of my favorite French finds.

Water Lilies by Monet found here

The Artist's Garden at Giverny by Monet found here 

Claude Monet has long been one of my favorite artists.  Best known for his lily pad paintings, Monet is the father of French impressionism.  What I love most about Monet's paintings is the sense of movement they evoke.  The play of light is captivating and makes you feel as if you are there to experience the very moment at which the sun catches the flowers just right. 

Image via Carol's Cafe found here 

While all French pastries deserve mention, French bread in particular is making my stomach growl tonight.  The more layers of hot, crispy crust, the better.  Preferably spread with tangy orange marmalade and washed down with a flute of genuine bubbly from the Champagne region.

Yann Tiersen is a French composer, perhaps most well known for creating the score to the movie Amelie.  I discovered Yann's music just recently and have been listening to his piano, violin, and accordion performances every day since.  His songs are so moving and emotional.

Photo via Jessica Korman found here 

Toile is a French original.  Developed in the town of Jouy centuries ago, this patterned fabric adds a touch of provincial flair to any decor.  The above bedroom in sun-drenched yellow and sky blue has me swooning.  

Spring Cleaning

Photo found here

I spent the afternoon engrossed in some major spring-cleaning and I am already feeling the positive effects of a cleaner space.  I’ve never been one for clutter, so getting rid of the little trinkets that pile up over the nesting winter months is always an enjoyable and cathartic task. 

As I toss out old magazines my heart begins to lighten as if the unrealistic female images emblazoned on the pages are also leaving my head once and for all.  I skim through every issue one last time to see if there are any articles worth saving.  The answer is a resounding no. 

Expired bottles of a salad dressing I didn’t really care for fly into the trashcan along with a small bag of nutritional yeast I never got around to using in that long-lost recipe. I begin to realize how much I prefer simpler fare these days anyhow. 

One sock with no mate has been lurking at the bottom of the sock bucket for countless months.  I feel a pang of guilt as I hurdle the limp little woven fellow towards the growing heap by the door.  Perhaps if I didn’t have so much clothing to begin with I could have kept track of his partner instead of letting her go MIA.  

I rediscover a note Tim left me the last time he stayed at my apartment.  Well, perhaps not everything needs to be discarded.  It finds a new home tucked safely in my journal, awaiting the next night I need to be reminded how lucky I am.    

Resting on the couch now, exhausted, I stare at the bags destined for the dumpster and those for the donation bins.  It turns out my castoffs had more to teach me than I could have imagined.  

A Discussion of Sustainable Viability

We had a two-hour long discussion in my Creating Sustainable Enterprise class today about whether or not sustainability is good for business.  As our professor facilitated the exchange of endless information regarding how a company's bottom line is affected by the nebulous buzzword that is "sustainability", my mood quickly deflated from excitement to something resembling hopelessness.  

We have had this same discussion for the past three quarters.  At one point I was confident that I would eventually learn how businesses create sustainable models, but I am losing faith that the discussion will ever reach that point.  

The issue of sustainability is one I find incredibly interesting and challenging.  It is a topic I look forward to writing about more in the near future. For now, however, the words of E. O. Wilson, one of my favorite authors and theorists, will have to do.  After four years of drowning in business information, statistics, and industry reviews, I could really use some good old fashioned wisdom.

 

More Snow

Another snowy evening in Denver.  Unfortunately I was out at meetings all night when all I wanted to do was snuggle up on the couch with a big cookie and watch the landscape whiten. 

Soon it will be time for long, warm days and afternoons in the park.  Until then I'm dreaming of having a picnic as divine as this one - complete with hot french bread, plenty of wine, and a nice shady tree...